Here Without You
by Nickiblitz
Summary: Ginny's dead!Draco has to deal, but the question is: Can he? DG fluff, but mostly angst.


DISCLAIMER – None belong to me. As per usual, I have to put this disclaimer so I don't get sued. So, there! lolz…

AUTHOR'S NOTE – The idea just popped up in my head as I was listening to the song 'Here Without You', hence, the title. Just a bit of angsty fluff. Read, enjoy, and REVIEW!!!!! Thank you.

RATING –  PG-13 

It has been a month since you died. DIED. The word is bitter against my lips. I still can't believe you're gone. Never to laugh at me, laugh with me, never to be the mother of my children. I'll never again be able to caress the fiery silk that is your hair, to kiss your pouty rosebud lips, or to just snuggle up into your sweet, warm embrace. I never even got to say goodbye, never got to tell you exactly how much I love you. Well, I'll tell you now. I love you as much as is humanly possible. I love you like my life, even more than that, actually. My love for you would always be as steady and true as the earth orbiting around the sun, for you are my sun, the light in my otherwise dark, gloomy and sordid life. You WERE my sun, actually. Now that you're gone, my sun is gone. The light is gone from my life. Snuffed out. As the sun pulled the earth towards it in its gravitational field, keeping it in its orbit, you grounded me in reality, helped keep me sane in a world of deceit and lies. Now, it's gone and I'm drifting around in the empty darkness that is my life, groping for a way out, an escape hatch. I've found one.

Suddenly, a muggle song that I've heard a couple of times in muggle London plays in my head. It is fitting, the lyrics suit my mood.

I'm here without you baby  
but you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
and I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
but you're still with me in my dreams  
and tonight it's only you and me

Yeah, that's it. Fits, doesn't it? 

I lean back against a tree, closing my eyes as images of you dance across my eyelids. I miss you so much, my heart constricts with my pain. And that is an understatement. Why didn't I tell you all this when you were alive? I haven't the faintest idea. Maybe it was because I thought we still had time, lots of time. Where are you now? In heaven? A ghost? Do you think about me, wherever you are? Do you remember me? Do you remember our love? I sure do, and it's burning me up from inside. I remember how we used to wake up entangled in each other, our clothes strewn all over the floor. How we used to sit in front of the fire on cold winter nights, just talking. Talking about everything under the sun. About how you wanted to get out of your brothers' shadows, how you wanted to be your own person, and I told you about how I wanted to grow up away from my father, to be the person _I _wanted to be, not what my _father _wanted me to be. Well, we have achieved that, haven't we? You made headlines, 'Girl dies protecting lover.' You were protecting me from my father, he aimed at me, you jumped. Why? Ginny, why? Why not just let me die? My death wouldn't have been mourned, yours was. By the people who remembered you as the bright, cheerful girl, the beautiful, selfless woman. But I mourned for a different Ginny. I mourned for the Ginny that held me when I would awake shivering from a nightmare. For the Ginny that could face off a pack of Death-Eaters, but scream and jump into my arms at the sight of a spider on the kitchen cupboard. For the Ginny who would drool on my chest as she slept. For the Ginny _I _knew. For the Ginny I love. 

Do you know that the words 'Avada Kedavra' still echo in my head? Do you know how my heart wrenched when I saw you lying there, so still, at my feet? I felt such anger. I killed my father, Ginny luv. I snatched his wand, snapped it into two, and stabbed him with it. With his own wand. Do you know what his dying words were? He said, "I never thought I would live to see the day Draco Malfoy commit murder because of a little Weasley slut." I spit on his face in the last moments before he breathed his last, evil-filled breath. And I stood there, cradling your cooling body as I watched his slowly congealing blood pool on his chest, where I had stabbed him in the heart. When his long, platinum-coloured hair, so like mine, turned a dark red from his blood, I turned away to grieve for you in peace. But I couldn't. Never in peace. 

Do you remember the times when we talked about the future? You wanted a brood of children; I wanted to be the greatest wizard of all time. People would shake their heads at us, saying we were doomed to be apart. We were too different, well-meaning people would tell us. But they never knew, did they? You wanted children with me, children of the greatest wizard ever. I wanted only to be the greatest wizard of all time _in your eyes._ Not in the eyes of the world. And I was. But we never got to fulfill your wish. Never mind, there's always the next life, of the after life, whichever we find ourselves in. But we will be together. Always. Oh, look; the sun is setting in the sky. The colours are beautiful, Ginny luv, but not as beautiful as you. I have to get going now, get ready to meet you again. We will be together soon, my love. Soon. 

I trudge up to my room, the room we made love in. I look at my bed, with its black silk sheets, not really seeing it, but seeing you instead. I see you lying there, your red hair fanned out behind you, your chest rising and falling with every breath. Then, I see you lying at my feet, eyes glassy and open, as my father stands over your unmoving body, his lips pulled back into a snarl. A bead of sweat makes its way down my temple, leisurely rolling its way down my face as I frantically search my drawer for the gift my godfather gave to me on my seventeenth birthday. Then, I find it. A long, elegant, silver dagger. Its intricate design on the handle made me fall in love with it when I received it a year ago from Professor Snape. Now it shall be a tool to bring me to you. I thank Snape in my heart of hearts, for now I can be with you. I carefully slit my left wrist. As a thin line of blood appears, I remember:

Cooking together, laughing as I burn the roast chicken… Taking long leisurely baths together, and I hear your moans of contentment as I scrub your back in just the right spots… Playing in the snow, trying to catch snowflakes on our tongues. Building snowmen… Making wild passionate love one minute, then touching you like you are porcelain the next… fighting; oh yes, I remember our fights. Of epic proportions, they were. Screaming, shouting, plates flying across the room, then crying, kissing, and making up in my bed. Yes, the good old days.

I feel weak. My vision is rimmed with hazy black, the darkness is closing in. 

I look down, see my blood seep into the plush green carpet on the floor, creating a large, irregularly-shaped dark shape. I slump to the floor, my legs seem to have lost all feeling. With my remaining strength, I slash my right wrist as well. I brush my hair away from my forehead, feel my blood drip onto my nose. I'm too tired and weak to care. All I want to do is die with you the last thing I see. As I close my eyes, the song again plays through my mind.

I'm here without you baby  
but you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
and I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
but you're still with me in my dreams  
and tonight it's only you and me

Ah, Ginny. Tonight really _is _just you and me. Just the two of us…. I feel my breathing become laboured, I struggle to breathe at first, but then I just relax and allow my breaths to slow. I see your face in my mind's eye, the sun illuminating your hair, a slight breeze blowing through it, ruffling it slightly. I see your dazzling smile, see your arms reaching out towards me as I slip from this realm to the next. 

I am dimly aware of a piercing scream in the distance that sounds a lot like my mother as I join you in the bright sunlight, in a place where there is no more pain and suffering, no more sorrow. 

Goodbye………… mother……………

A/N – Phew!! Finished it in a few hours, shoulders and back ache from hunching for so long!! So please, please review!! No flames please, they hurt. *pout* constructive criticism, ok. Hurtful flames that say nothing about my story hurt and piss me off. Thank you!! And to all reviewers of my other fics, I love you!!!!

~lunaticladybug~_  
  
_


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